Cross Country Ski Excuses Pt. 2: Regional

It’s about that time of year - ski racing! I wrote a blog last season about some excuses you can use in case the races don’t go as planned.

I received requests for more excuses - readers had already used many of those listed. Using the same excuses over and over might lower your credibility, so here are some fresh ones - by region.

I dug deep to find excuses that haven't been overused, but are similarly convincing. Enjoy, and remember - a bad race is never your fault.

East

• Sleet got in my eyes on the downhill

• I don’t have a freezing rain specific ski

• I don’t have a hail specific ski

• I don’t have a 1-inch-of-snow-on-top-of-dirty-forest specific ski

• I would be better at classic but I respect Bill Koch too much

• I only have enough klister to cover 12 different snow conditions

• My college won’t let me take 3 months of travel for ski season

• I had fake maple syrup for breakfast and became ill

• I got carsick on the way to the venue

Here's Bowdoin College (coastal Maine) - covered in a nice sheet of ice

Midwest

• I don’t care about this race, I’m trying to peak for the Minnesota State Meet

• I don’t care about this race, I’m trying to peak for the Birkie

• I don’t have an artificial snow specific ski

• My lungs don’t function at -4F like they used to

• I froze my eyes solid

• I didn’t pass anyone because I didn’t want to be rude

• I’m only half Norwegian

• There were 400 kids on the trail when I raced

The Trailhead at The Loppet Foundation buzzing with kids!

West

• I am sunburnt

• Altitude affects me worse than everyone else

• Dry air affects me worse than everyone else

• I trained for 300 hours at 250 AQI this summer

• I don’t have a scenic, firm corduroy specific ski

• I don’t have a forest fire specific ski

• Someone said “I’m so much better than you” and I believed them

• Someone said “I’m the best skier on this mountain” and I believed them

• I was 27th in the race but the 1st American, at least

Sun Valley, ID doing its thing

Alaska

• There was a moose in my way

• I have Kincaid-jet-fuel-induced asthma

• I only managed to train 1,400 hours this year

• I didn’t get on snow until October

• I don’t have a northern lights specific ski

• I’m vitamin D deficient

• I'm more of a "50°N latitude or below" type of skier

• An 8-year-old Winter Star passed me so I gave up

• An 80-year-old APUer passed me so I gave up

Moose trailside nap

Scandinavia

• I didn’t start seriously training until I was 7

• I was Olympic gold medalist caliber when I was 15 but so was everyone else so I thought I was bad and retired

Happy Tuesday.

-Love, Renae

Sjusjøen, Norway